Kinship Legal Guardianship (KLG) in New Jersey, is a process whereby a maternal or paternal relative of a child assumes long term care of the child as an alternative to adoption.  KLG does not necessarily terminate parental rights.  The biological parent maintains the right of consent to adoption or name change, pays child support and is entitled to visitation, usually supervised.  The child does not sacrifice any rights derived from the birth parent such as inheritance or insurance eligibility. 

KLG, is initially a permanent arrangement and not intended to be easily resolved.  However, KLG can be used as a temporary measure to allow biological parents to overcome incapacity to care for a child.  Most children want to be reunited with their parents.  However, as with all matters concerning children, and irrespective of the circumstances, the courts will rule in favor of what is best for the child based on "clear and convincing evidence".  If a parent, whose child was removed due to physical abuse, neglect, substance abuse, arrest, violence or any other misconduct, intends to pursue custody of their child, there has been a unanimous decision, affirmed by all seven justices and written by Justice John Wallace, that the burden of proof for terminating such KLG arrangements is with the moving party. (biological parent)

Who wins in these situations?  Children are negatively impacted with any interruption in home life.  Moving from a parent's home to a relative's home, no matter the circumstances, interferes with academic progress, social life and certainly emotional well being.  Readjusting to a new environment is difficult for anyone, imagine being a child and having to accomodate the adult world around you.  Having relatives argue over who is to care for a child, who is financially responsible for a child, who is equipped to best take care of the child, will leave the child with lifelong self esteem issues - the child's mind barely understands the conflict and only wants to be with their parent.  On the other hand, these angels (KLG) who step up to the responsibility of raising someone else's children are a large part of our population today and everyone involved in chiild welfare needs to support their efforts and sacrifices.  This is the next generation they are taking care of - the next biochemist, the next NASA engineer or the next President. 

One sad note, is the grand parent or aunt or uncle, who spends their time and energy to raise a "relative's" child, only to later find out that there is no real biological relationship.  If you have a doubt about the paternity of the child you are being asked to care for, call your local DNA collector to have a private DNA test performed.  If you have been given paperwork by the court, indicating you have custody of the child, you have the right and responsibility to get a DNA test to confirm you are indeed the biological grand parent, aunt, uncle, sister, brother etc., of the child.  And all children have the right to know their birth family and understand the truth about their birth. 

Many individuals who were adopted are searching for information about their biological parents or general information about their family origins.

Males can test their Y-DNA to

• trace the paternal line
• determine possible original surnames
• connect with genetic cousins
• learn about your suggested geographic origins
• find your deep ancestral ethnic origins

Both males and females can test their mtDNA to:

• trace the maternal line
• connect with genetic cousins
• learn about your suggested geographic origins
• find your deep ancestral ethnic origins

There are at least 17 different types of DNA testing options available for adoptees to begin their ancestry heritage search. As this subject can be very confusing with all its terminology, biology, pricing, best test case scenario - it is best to call your local DNA expert to determine which test or combination of tests is best suited for your circumstances.

Test Example mtDNA Plus

Both men and women may take this test. It traces the direct maternal line without influence from other lines (excludes all paternal lineage). If you are interesting in determining your mother's line, this may be a good test for you. A panel of twenty-two SNPs is included for backbone haplogroup placement see DNALady's dictionary for definition of Haplogroups and SNPs). Results identify the ethnic and geographic origin of the maternal line.You will receive a certificate and report describing the testing process and the meaning of the matches. Results are placed in our database. When another person shows identical results, if both parties have signed a Release Form then we will inform you of the match.

Y-DNA37+Y-DNA 67+mtDNA

Only available to males, these tests are a combination of a male specific Y-chromosome test and a maternal lineage mitochondrial test. THe number of markers you request (37 or 67) will determine cost of the test. A Y-haplogroup is determined and backed by our SNP Assurance Program. For the mtDNA test, a panel of twenty-two SNPs is included for backbone haplogroup placement. When another person shows identical results within our database, if both parties have signed a Release Form, then we will inform you of the match. The customer will also receive a certificate and report describing the testing process and the meaning of thirty-seven marker and mtDNA matches.

Irrespective of the test you chose, be sure to use a laboratory that is accredited by the AABB, CAP, CLIA, NYSDOH and other national DNA collection institutions to insure accuracy and reliability of tests. Having a local DNA collection expert to meet with in person (rather than ordering tests over the internet or through 800 #), allows you to ask follow up questions in person once you receive your results. The local DNA collection expert may have experience with other DNA tests that she/he can apply to your situation as well.

If you have exhausted all other methods of having children, there are options to creating a family today that could not ever be imagined in our parents time. 

"Rent a womb", I don't mean any disrespect to either side.  Those in the position of offering their womb for money are bringing happiness to so many couples and those in the position of paying to "rent a womb" provide a financial incentive to women who otherwise may not find the means to support their current children.  Provided the new parents are not just trying to preserve their "girlish figures" or "don't have time to take off from their busy careers" and the surrogate moms are not jeopardizing their own health and are able to carry a baby to full term, then the reasons are pure and noble to go through surrogacy and by all means this is just a god given advancement in science that we all should enjoy. 

The first step is to decide on the best kind of surrogacy. There are two types of surrogacy - 

• Genetic. The surrogate is the genetic mother of the resulting child. In this the surrogate is artificially inseminated with the father(or a male sperm donor). Genetic surrogacy is simpler compared to gestational surrogacy. A DNA test at birth can determine for sure whether the child was produced as a results of the artificial insemination. If a family has any doubt about the artificial insemination's success, a PreNatal Paternity Test can also be performed but everyone should understand the risks involved to both fetus and mother.
• Gestational. In this the surrogate is not the genetic mother of the resulting child. The eggs(oocytes) are extracted from the mother(or egg donor) and mixed with the sperm from the father(sperm donor) in-vitro(in a test-tube, culture plate or similar vessel) that has an environment that will simulate that of the fallopian tubes.  A short biology lesson - a woman's eggs mature and move out of the ovaries into the woman's fallopian tubes where they are fertilized by sperm and move down the fallopian tube to the uterus in a normal pregnancy. In in-vitro fertilization, the embryo is transferred into the surrogate's uterus.

In detail, in case of gestational surrogacy, the egg-donor is prepared by administering follicle stimulating (hormonal) medications to stimulate the production of multiple eggs. This procedure takes about 4-6 weeks. These medications cause more than one egg to mature and the eggs will be retrieved before they are released from the ovaries. These retrieved eggs are then fertilized by the sperm in a Petri dish in an incubator.

When the fertilized eggs reach the four to ten cell stage of development; they are called embryos and are ready to be placed in the womb of the surrogate, which is simultaneously prepared to receive the embryo so that it could be carried to term.

Again, DNA testing is recommended to assure the new parents are actually the biological parents of the embryo.Paternity and Maternity Tests can be performed either at birth or prenatally via amniocentesis or chorionic villi sampling, in order to confirm that the donor egg and sperm did indeed produce a child.  Since there risk involved with PreNatal Paternity Testing,  a doctor should explain to both sides any circumstantial risks.

Not all eggs which are retrieved get fertilized and not all of the fertilized eggs are used in the current IVF cycle. Some of the embryos are cryopreserved for future IVF procedures. Deciding on the fate of the cryopreserved embryos early on in the procedure and in writing will eliminate unnecessary stress afterwards.

Cost

Finally, you can find a surrogate in the United States by contacting your local Fertility Center or In-Vitro Fertilization Center. However, skyrocketing medical insurance costs have once again put the United States at a financial disadvantage and many other countries are offering Surrogacy Programs.  For a list of countries offering Surrogacy programs check out Medical Tourism.  The DNA Lady does not endorse any of these sites and strongly recommend potential families investigate fully the facility they intend to use.

All families are a blessing, no matter how you arrive at them or how you define them.

If you are planning an adoption, here are some terms used in the process.
 
Open Adoption - Adoption in which identifying information is shared between birth and adoptive parents and there is a plan for continued contact after the placement is made.

Mediated Open Adoption - is planned communication between birth and adoptive families while the child is growing up, spelled out in a written agreement. The agreement is mediated by an adoption agency representative who is sensitive to the issues for both sides.

Semi-Open Adoption - Birth and adoptive families who stay in contact by way of an intermediary as opposed to direct contact; they may or may not have exchanged identifying information.

Openness - in adoption refers to various forms of communication between birth parents and adoptive parents, such as an exchange of pictures and letters, meeting but not having ongoing contact, or meeting on a first name basis.

Open Placement - the birth and adoptive family meet at the beginning of the adoption; may or may not exchange identifying information; have no commitment of ongoing contact.
Independent Adoption - is an adoption that is carried out often with no counseling provided for anyone. The child is simply placed with the adoptive family.

Closed or Confidential Adoption - the birth parents and adoptive parents do not meet, do not share identifying information and do not keep in contact.

Triad ( the adoption triangle) - the three categories of people directly involved in adoption: the birth parents, the adopted, and the adoptive parents.

Birth Mother - (birth parent, biological parent) - refers to the person who gave birth to a baby. It is a preferred term as opposed to natural mother or real mother, causing implication that if the birth mother makes an adoption plan the adoptive parents are unreal or unnatural.

Birth Father - (birth parent, biological parent) - refers to the male responsible for refers to the male responsible for the conception of a child. The child born to the woman who was impregnated by this person will have the genetic components of the birth father and the birth mother.

Legal Parent - (mother/father) - refers to the woman to whom a child was born and the father of the child who is married to the mother or has filed a notice of intent to claim paternity.

Putative Father - (alleged) - refers to the person who is thought to be the biological father of a child but has not acknowledged this fact nor filed an intent to determine that he is the biological father.

Permanent Surrender / Relinquishment - refers to birth parents legally signing over their child to an adoption agency. Until the child is placed for adoption, the agency has custody of the child. Other words used are release of surrender.